For A Little Warmth

The furnace is out. It would not be so bad if not for the biting cold winds, caressing the gaps around my windows, constantly inviting itself into my house. The daytime heat gives the house a normal warm feeling that nothing is amiss, but as the sun starts is dip into the horizon you feel the cold tendrils moving its way into all the rooms. Laying in bed with blankets to your chin, using it as shield against the cold. That is really my only defense at the moment. It's easy to get lost, nesting down in the pillows and trapped heat of the bed. It's also easy to decide to not to come out. But something always finds a way of calling you out of your comfort. The trip to the frozen toilet seat, the need to quench a thirst. These things would nag and nag at you until you gave in, so you suffer the consequences as quickly and painlessly as possible, always retreating the blankets with lingering warmth. I hope the furnace is fixed soon, I may never want to leave the mini-kingdom of comfort any more.

Knotted

Defining something so fluid as thought and emotion. What a task. It can't be solved over a steaming cup of chamomile tea. It does not lend itself to sleep either. So there you sit, your eye lids heavy and wary, trying to think yourself a way out of a mental prison. You may as well get comfortable, your sentence may be longer than you expect. Try for once to feel than think it though. Feel the emotions and reactions, and let your heart decide. Let your heart decide the next course. Then feel again. Like a knot on a wet sneaker, the strings will loosen. You may not get every knot off your string, but maybe you will be a little straighter than when you started.

40 hours

40 hours. The mind feels like it is a different shape after 40 hours. You feel it resting on your lower eye socket, puffing out your skin. It also feels like your skull gained an inch in circumference and purposely bobbles your head from one side to the next. Of course thinking is harder too. Just trying to remember what little thought you had in your mind just that one moment before. It fluttered away like a leaf in the wind, never to be seen again. Slumber would be sweet remedy. To close the eyes and rest the body, as well as rest the mind. Stopping the thoughts and voices in your head would be the perfect vacation to existence. Take this thought to heart: things will begin to blossom again in the marrow, and time will heal the injuries of the past. Sleep well.

The Daily Walk

The marked woman moved through the crowd. Not one soul acknowledged her but all gave her pointed glances. Whispers were sung from ear to ear, moving faster than a starved fire on dry bark. She continued her lonely procession knowing it had to be done. Keeping her head high showed all there was not a tear in her eye. She set her jaw and kept her eyes straight. Her mask covered her fear that nearly boiled to the surface. Thus was the daily walk of a marked woman.

Darling Angel

You are my darling Angel. You made me better than who I was yesterday. You make me strive to be a better me tomorrow. You open my eyes to everything around me. You show me how to love the things that are hardest to love; And to love deeper the things that are easy. Light surrounds you where ever you go. You bring the sunshine of hope and joy and share it boundlessly with all you meet. Be my darling Angel always, for you teach me how to be your darling Angel.

The Box

I don't even check the walls for weaknesses anymore. I hadn't done that for years. It was so pointless to run my hands frantically, methodically over every square inch. I had not found any weakness, not even the beginnings of an opportunity. Those days were desolate and dark. Feeling the solitude was almost unbearable. The urge to claw my nails through my heart to my soul was immense. I sat there waiting for things to change. I had kept watching. I didn't test the boundaries of my prison but I watched everything with determination. I looked for differences and changes. Most things I saw were so small and non-essential to the security of the blockade, that at first I did not even pay them any mind. Pointless information floating in and out of my daily routine, I had thought it not worth my time. Of course, what was time really for someone like me? It came in small steps at first. I would see a thought and let it play out to it's fullest. See where it went. And where it went was amazing. I was able to go places within my own mind and be there fully. Of course I would come back to my confinement and see no changes in the walls. But I found a way to at least temporarily stay my imprisonment. I let my mind wander in and out of these journeys. Finding new and what I thought were impossible ways of thought. It was exhilarating, I felt I was soaring above my plight, even just for moments. Always coming back to my cell. Then today, I learned something. I don't have to come back.

Little Death

Would it kill you if I left? Just went out the door. Walked away, see you never more? If close my eyes and cry some tears, thinking about all the years. Seeing how thing had gone, wrong and wrong. Never knowing when to say when. Laying out my heart and hoping the best. Never seeing it coming, I couldn't even guess. And I cry. And I cry. I cry "No more, please no more"

Would it kill you if I left? Would it break your heart? Never coming back any more. And I close my eye, and wait for them to dry. Not wasting anymore on your love. Seeing how, I am with you. Makes it worse. Never knowing when to say when. Laying out my heart and hoping the best. Never seeing it coming, I couldn't even guess. And I cry. And I cry. I cry "No more please"

How I Love You

Have you ever watch a lone snowflake fall to the ground? The moment it catches your eye you are instantly mesmerized. Flipping and spinning slowly, the daylight reflects off its perfectly formed side like a diamond in a showcase. It twirls and dances, inviting you to join its solo dance. At the end of the performance, it lays itself softly on the ground, and you notice it is not alone. A million others had piled themselves around you as you were drawn to the one flake. That is how I love you. I charm you with my dance when I fact I had been surrounding you all along. My love is like a snowflake. Pure and honest. You know I'm there, encompassing you with my very being