The Box

I don't even check the walls for weaknesses anymore. I hadn't done that for years. It was so pointless to run my hands frantically, methodically over every square inch. I had not found any weakness, not even the beginnings of an opportunity. Those days were desolate and dark. Feeling the solitude was almost unbearable. The urge to claw my nails through my heart to my soul was immense. I sat there waiting for things to change. I had kept watching. I didn't test the boundaries of my prison but I watched everything with determination. I looked for differences and changes. Most things I saw were so small and non-essential to the security of the blockade, that at first I did not even pay them any mind. Pointless information floating in and out of my daily routine, I had thought it not worth my time. Of course, what was time really for someone like me? It came in small steps at first. I would see a thought and let it play out to it's fullest. See where it went. And where it went was amazing. I was able to go places within my own mind and be there fully. Of course I would come back to my confinement and see no changes in the walls. But I found a way to at least temporarily stay my imprisonment. I let my mind wander in and out of these journeys. Finding new and what I thought were impossible ways of thought. It was exhilarating, I felt I was soaring above my plight, even just for moments. Always coming back to my cell. Then today, I learned something. I don't have to come back.